A finger here, a flick there—rude gestures make the world go round. How else would we embody the perfect summation of disgust in one neat and tidy signal of disapproval? We tend to think of the middle finger as the only good gesture to designate a worthy “eff off, buddy,” but in truth there’s a stockpile of awesomely offensive gestures out there. Let’s go global and look past flipping the bird.
The Crossed Fingers
Where: Vietnam
How to perform it: Cross your middle finger over your index finger.
What it means: To us, crossed fingers are a well-wishers sign of good luck. In Vietnam, however, crossed fingers resemble a woman’s private area. Here, it’s the equivalent of calling someone a c*nt.
The Moutza
Where: Greece, Mexico, the Middle East and Africa
How to perform it: Thrust your palm outward toward the person you wish to insult.
What it means: Though the gesture is easy to do, its history is quite complex, and as such it can mean a few different things. Among them are: “I’d like to rub shit in your face!” or “I’m going to perform five sexual acts upon your willing sister!” or “To hell with you!”
Fun fact: The Moutza is said to have originated in ancient Byzantium where criminals were chained to a donkey and displayed for all to see in public areas. To add insult to injury, local townsfolk would rub dirt, feces or ashes into their faces to humiliate them further.
The Chin Flick
Where: Belgium, Italy, France and Tunisia
How to perform it: Brush the back of your hand under your chin in a flicking motion.
What it means: The chin flick is used to mean “get lost,” typically when an argument has gone past the point of meaningful discourse. In France, it’s known as la barbe (the beard); the idea here is that the gesturer is showing his masculinity. In Italy the gesture simply means, “No.”
The Idiota
Where: Various countries in South America and sometimes in the UK
How to perform it: Simply place your fist on your forehead.
What it means: Did you eat a bowl of stupid for breakfast? Are you an idiot? The gesture is in reference to a mentally handicapped person trying to eat ice cream and planting it on their forehead instead of in their mouth.
Fun fact: The gesture can be complemented by grunting. Yes, the Idiota offends all mentally handicapped and their advocates as well!
The Thumbs Up
Where: Parts of the Middle East, Greece and Australia
How to perform it: Exactly how we give each other the thumb’s up for a job well done.
What it means: Instead of good job, a thumbs up in bizarro world means that the receiver can go ahead and sit on your thumb. Essentially it’s an elaborate, “Go fuck yourself…with my thumb.”
The ‘OK’ Sign
Where: Greece, Spain, Brazil and Turkey
How it’s performed: You know damn well how to do this already.
What it means: In the U.S. it means “A-OK, good sir,” but in other places it is recognized as forming the shape of a certain bodily orifice and meaning either that you’re calling someone an asshole or insinuating that they’re homosexual.
The Five Fathers
Where: Many Arab and Caribbean countries
How it’s performed: Point your left index finger at your right hand and purse all five fingers of your right hand together.
What it means: It means that, although you have just one mother, you have five fathers, insinuating wildly uncouth things about your mother’s disposition and your eventual conception. Or in the words of Celebrity Jeopardy Sean Connery, “Your mother is a whore, Trebek.”
Fun fact: This is the most offensive gesture in the Arab world so just go ahead and forget you ever learned what it is.
The Cutis
Where: India and Pakistan
How to perform it: Flick your thumb outward from the back of your upper front teeth. (Try it—it even feels unpleasant.)
What it means: Simply, fuck you and your entire family. How kind!
Fun fact: This is almost certain to get you kicked out of any establishment you perform it in, and perhaps even the entire country. Hope it was worth it.
